Friday, July 31, 2015

400+ Views?

Just got home from a drive with my dad and brother...and I'm so thrilled that I have 395 views already! I've only had this blog for a couple of days! Thank you all so much for your support- you're wonderful.

Maybe when I wake up tomorrow we will be at 400+ views?

Keep sharing with family & friends, feel free to comment on any of my posts and remember that I am always here for any support. Feel free to send me an email or DM me on Twitter and I will get back to you ASAP!

Thank you all so much- I am incredibly blessed,
Marissa Mayer


Ready For Battle

Hey guys- I know it isn't the end of the day yet, but I thought I would blog a little earlier tonight.

Only two hours ago, I had my third anxiety attack. Let me tell you, they are not fun. I couldn't breathe very well and I started sweating. It's really scary to feel like you don't know what to do with yourself. In the moment, I was afraid of myself. Afraid that if my emotions took control, I might not be able to stop. I wanted to die so badly, and I was scared. I hugged myself tighter and tried to find reasons to stay alive. I paced my room back and forth. The tears kept coming and the fear was eating at me. Shaking, I grabbed my phone and managed to dial my cousin. She talked me through it and encouraged me to relax. When I hung up, I practiced taking deep breaths and listened to music. Unfortunately, this time it took longer for me to calm down.

And now, here I still sit, my eyes red and puffy but feeling better. Looking back, in the moment I had felt every emotion, and at the same time, completely emotionless. It's a hard feeling to describe. But it's painful and it eats at me from the inside out sometimes.

I questioned why it took me so long to recover and realized that I hadn't made a call to God. I am certain that with Him, I would have felt better a lot faster. Sometimes, He uses things to put me back on track. And today, He used the panic attack to wake me up a little and remind me that He is in control. And that I need to put my trust in Him. When I lay my fears in His hands, He will take care of them. With God by my side, I can fight all battles that life throws my way.

Once again, I am leaving the offer out there for all of you who struggle with depression or anything of the sort. I am here. I will always be here to remind each and every one of you how strong you can be with the Lord.

"Blessed be the Lord! For he has heard the voice of my pleas for mercy. The Lord is my strength and my shield; in him my heart trusts, and I am helped; my heart exults, and with my song I give thanks to him." -Psalm 28:7

God is good- at all times,
Marissa Mayer

Blessed At All Times

Good morning all! (I've had 328 page views so far- thank you!)

Last night I couldn't fall asleep, didn't sleep well, and woke up at 7 this morning. I was supposed to go into work at 9 but ended up throwing up and calling in.

I had actually been looking forward to work today, but I guess God had a different plan in mind. And while the rest of my day will probably consist of cereal and Grey's Anatomy, I feel like I should take advantage of the day and make morning post.

So, being stuck at home, I have some "thinking time". My schedule this weekend and into next week is quite busy. I have a drive tomorrow morning and my cousin's birthday party on Sunday. Then on Monday, my best friend and I are getting pedicures and going out for lunch, and on Tuesday I turn 16 and take my drivers test. And, if that isn't enough, on Wednesday, I am going to Milwaukee to The Vanderbilt University Road Show where I will meet some representatives from the college- needless to say, I'm thrilled!

With all of these things coming up, I've come to realize (once again), just how blessed I am. God has given me a great family- despite the circumstances we are in, and I have the greatest friend a girl could ask for. I am soon to celebrate my 16th birthday, and I am usually quite healthy (today happens to be an exception- obviously). I am going to gain a little bit of freedom by getting my license (if I pass), and I get to talk to representatives from my dream college! God always continues to show me my blessings even when life gets rough.

So, I'm inviting you to take a moment out of your day to count your blessings and feel free to leave some of those in the comments! Share with us some of the great things going on in your lives! I'd love to hear from you!

"Give thanks to the Lord, for he is good; his love endures forever." -Psalm 107:1

Blessings on the rest of your day,
Marissa Mayer



Thursday, July 30, 2015

Alone I Am Weak

How many of you have ever felt weak? Well, today I did. I was at work and for some reason, I just wasn't feeling myself. I felt emotionless and the urge to cry. I had to clock in soon, but the lump in my throat wouldn't go away. I physically and emotionally felt weak. I wanted to go home and cry, but I knew that wasn't an option.

I quickly said a prayer- that God would provide me with the strength to make it through my shift. And as usual, He didn't fail to answer me. I clocked in and within a little while, I was keeping busy in the drive thru. I had a good time working with some of my favorite coworkers, and by the end of the night, I headed home with a smile on my face.

God is strong when we are weak. He will pick us up out of the roaring ocean and take us to shore. But only if we are willing to let Him. As an independent teenager, I know that a lot of the time I want to overcome things on my own. But alone we are weak. It's okay to ask for help. It's okay to take the hand that God offers us when it's all just too much. With Him at our side, we are able to overcome everything that life throws our way.

I would also like to let all of you know that if you ever need anything, feel free to shoot me an email or DM me on Twitter, and I will get back to you as soon as possible. I know what it's like to feel like there's nobody- but I promise that there is!

"I love you, O Lord, my strength. The Lord is my rock and my fortress and my deliverer, my God, my rock, in whom I take refuge, my shield, and the horn of my salvation, my stronghold. I call upon the Lord who is worthy to be praised." -Psalm 18:2-3a

Blessings to all of you,
Marissa Mayer

200 Views!

Just thought I'd interrupt your day to let you know that this blog has exceeded 200 views! I know it isn't much, but it's a start. Thank you so much for your support!

Good morning!

My laptop is downloading Windows 10 right now so I was forced to use my phone this morning...

Just wanted to say good morning to my handful of viewers! Look out your window and look at the beautiful day ahead of you. I hope all of you have a great day! I'll post later tonight. 

God is good- ALWAYS! 

Much love,
Marissa Mayer

Instagram: @teamsamm_
Twitter: @_mayerssa_
Email: marissa.mayer17@gmail.com

Wednesday, July 29, 2015



Comfort in His Creation

Okay, so I looked forward to blogging something all day, only to realize that I really had nothing to blog about. My day was pretty uneventful- just a drive with the instructor this morning and then some organizing of school supplies. But then as the evening rolled around, things changed.
Before dinner I felt like this blog thing wouldn't work out and that I wouldn't be able to handle all of my advanced classes this year (plus two jobs). My mom said a few things that irritated me and I suddenly felt that familiar wave of pressure. The settling of stress and I didn't want to start crying. Instead, I talked. Out loud. At first, I tried to reassure myself that I would be okay. But I needed somebody stronger than myself.

So I turned to God. Who better to look to than my Creator? I sat on the edge of my bed telling Him that I needed some confidence. I needed to feel confident that this blog will start rolling and helping you all. I needed to feel confident that my mom will feel better by the end of this mess (hopefully me too)! And confident that He will supply all of the knowledge and patience for me to do well at school and work this year. I didn't feel any better...until after dinner.
After dinner I went outside for awhile. I walked the premises of our property and witnessed the setting of the sun. Suddenly, I felt a warm breeze and I soaked in the beauty of my surroundings. Something about being outside really made me feel better.

You might wonder why. Why would being outside suddenly give me a better sense of peace? I came to my own conclusion: God created this beautiful world. And outside is where we can see it best. Call me crazy if you wish- but it's as if you can feel His presence through the wind. He shows me His creation to remind me that He is the maker of this world and can easily take care of all my troubles.

And when I came back inside, I checked my blog and I already have 160+ views (5 of which are from Canada!) My mom also ended up in a better mood and I started to feel at peace with the school/work situation. God really answers prayers.

Thank you so much- all of you- for your support! Feel free to comment and share this with others!
You can also find me on Instagram & Twitter:

https://instagram.com/teamsamm_/
https://twitter.com/_mayerssa_

May He give you His peace,
Marissa Mayer


Follow Me!

Hey guys!

Feel free to follow me on social media:
 

I'll make a post later on tonight...
Also feel free to comment on anything!
 
Thanks!
Marissa Mayer

Cheating

In the past few months, God has allowed some absolutely terrible things to come my way. Most recently, my dad having an affair and causing my mom to file for divorce. To the handful of viewers that I have, I think that many of you know somebody who has cheated before. Perhaps it was you. Or somebody you love(d). Here's how it happened to me and what I've learned from it so far...

I, the fifteen year old daughter, was the one to discover it. Through a Facebook message. The initial moment was complete shock and disbelief. My heart pounded and my palms got sweaty. I couldn't breathe. I screamed. I cried. My mom came running. And in that moment, I felt like it was the end of the world. Like the impossible was happening. I felt like I lost my dad. I lost every ounce of trust I had in him. Every late night he came home popped into my head as a clue I hadn't picked up on. Had he seen her when he said he had that "meeting"...or what about that time he had to go pick something up? The worst part was connecting all the dots.

In the weeks following I had written "her" multiple messages. She didn't deny any of it. But she didn't accept it as true either- even though I knew it was. My dad claimed them to just be friends. But I knew better. I was fifteen- but not stupid. Unfortunately, I confronted my dad multiple times and ended up having anxiety attacks nearly every time. In the end, he refused to stop seeing her. Even though my mental health was in jeopardy. "Cheating isn't really winning- it just hurts those around you." Does this still bother me? Sure. But he is still my dad. And I still love him.

You might be wondering how this could possibly have a positive light to it, but it does. My parents' marriage has never been good and I don't believe they were "OTP" or anything. I look at this and think that maybe this is the way for my mom to find a better life. So that when I leave for college she isn't left home with a man she doesn't really love. And although I pushed for them to work things out, I've come to realize that I need to put her needs before mine. She needs to be happy before I need both parents living under one roof. My love for my mom overrules my wants.

Another positive aspect to this is that I have learned a lot about loyalty and courage. My mom is a very strong woman at heart but doesn't always have the courage to stand up and say what's on her mind to the people that really need to hear it. In this situation- my dad. I've learned that loyalty and respect is incredibly important. Trust can easily be lost but very hard to gain back.

Sometimes you have to let go and face your fears head on to make others happy. And by doing this, you can become a stronger person and become happy yourself. Who is a better example of this than God? He made the ultimate sacrifice for us- giving us His Son. Can you imagine losing your own child? Although the circumstances weren't the best, He did it out of love- so that we might live for eternity with Him. There's a light at the end of every tunnel. And I'm sure for those of you going through rough times- you will find that too. God always provides peace when we need it and will lead you to see the positivity in every circumstance that troubles you.

Just some good thoughts past midnight,
Marissa Mayer

Follow me on Instagram:
https://instagram.com/teamsamm_/
Twitter:
https://twitter.com/_mayerssa_
 


3Do nothing out of selfish ambition or vain conceit. Rather, in humility value others above yourselves, not looking to your own interests but each of you to the interests of the others.
In your relationships with one another, have the same mindset as Christ Jesus:
Philippians 2:3-5
 
 
 


Tuesday, July 28, 2015

In His Hands

Yesterday (I forgot to mention in the previous post) I saw a counselor. She made me realize that I am worrying too much about things that I really don't need to. She used my parents' divorce as an example. I worry too much about it, when in reality it's not my issue. She also told me that I can still know the basics of the situation, but it isn't something I need to have on my own chest.
This made me think. I need to start giving more of myself to God. I can put all of my problems into His hands. And when I start doing this, I can live more peacefully. He always keeps His promises. He knows all of my problems and is willing to take care of them- but only if I put my trust in Him.

Here's a little something I need to remember:

"When the righteous cry for help, the Lord hears and delivers them out of all their troubles. The Lord is near to the brokenhearted and saves the crushed in spirit. Many are the afflictions of the righteous but the Lord delivers him out of them all." -Psalm 34:17-19

That's all for today,
 
Marissa Mayer

Monday, July 27, 2015

Something Different

Okay, this sounds totally crazy but I thought that starting my own blog would be a great idea. I'm not actually sure why, but I love to write and I wanted to try something different. So here, I suppose, is the beginning of whatever I'm going to write about.
 
Today was actually not the best day either. My mom officially filed for divorce and I wish I could explain how it feels to know where this is headed. I'm emotionless and I don't think that's a good thing.
 
But God is good and always continues to bless me- even through these rough times.
 
That's all...for now.
Marissa Mayer