Wednesday, July 29, 2015

Cheating

In the past few months, God has allowed some absolutely terrible things to come my way. Most recently, my dad having an affair and causing my mom to file for divorce. To the handful of viewers that I have, I think that many of you know somebody who has cheated before. Perhaps it was you. Or somebody you love(d). Here's how it happened to me and what I've learned from it so far...

I, the fifteen year old daughter, was the one to discover it. Through a Facebook message. The initial moment was complete shock and disbelief. My heart pounded and my palms got sweaty. I couldn't breathe. I screamed. I cried. My mom came running. And in that moment, I felt like it was the end of the world. Like the impossible was happening. I felt like I lost my dad. I lost every ounce of trust I had in him. Every late night he came home popped into my head as a clue I hadn't picked up on. Had he seen her when he said he had that "meeting"...or what about that time he had to go pick something up? The worst part was connecting all the dots.

In the weeks following I had written "her" multiple messages. She didn't deny any of it. But she didn't accept it as true either- even though I knew it was. My dad claimed them to just be friends. But I knew better. I was fifteen- but not stupid. Unfortunately, I confronted my dad multiple times and ended up having anxiety attacks nearly every time. In the end, he refused to stop seeing her. Even though my mental health was in jeopardy. "Cheating isn't really winning- it just hurts those around you." Does this still bother me? Sure. But he is still my dad. And I still love him.

You might be wondering how this could possibly have a positive light to it, but it does. My parents' marriage has never been good and I don't believe they were "OTP" or anything. I look at this and think that maybe this is the way for my mom to find a better life. So that when I leave for college she isn't left home with a man she doesn't really love. And although I pushed for them to work things out, I've come to realize that I need to put her needs before mine. She needs to be happy before I need both parents living under one roof. My love for my mom overrules my wants.

Another positive aspect to this is that I have learned a lot about loyalty and courage. My mom is a very strong woman at heart but doesn't always have the courage to stand up and say what's on her mind to the people that really need to hear it. In this situation- my dad. I've learned that loyalty and respect is incredibly important. Trust can easily be lost but very hard to gain back.

Sometimes you have to let go and face your fears head on to make others happy. And by doing this, you can become a stronger person and become happy yourself. Who is a better example of this than God? He made the ultimate sacrifice for us- giving us His Son. Can you imagine losing your own child? Although the circumstances weren't the best, He did it out of love- so that we might live for eternity with Him. There's a light at the end of every tunnel. And I'm sure for those of you going through rough times- you will find that too. God always provides peace when we need it and will lead you to see the positivity in every circumstance that troubles you.

Just some good thoughts past midnight,
Marissa Mayer

Follow me on Instagram:
https://instagram.com/teamsamm_/
Twitter:
https://twitter.com/_mayerssa_
 


3Do nothing out of selfish ambition or vain conceit. Rather, in humility value others above yourselves, not looking to your own interests but each of you to the interests of the others.
In your relationships with one another, have the same mindset as Christ Jesus:
Philippians 2:3-5
 
 
 


2 comments:

  1. Marissa- (This is Mel)
    I hurt for you so much during this horrible time you are going through. It bothers me that I can't just put myself in your place or just take the problem away for you. But I remember that there is something I can do: go to our Heavenly Father about it. The best father out there :) Know that my family and I pray that the Lord will give your family peace and comfort in knowing that He is here and He is after all this crap is done. I was crying tears of thankfulness and happiness as I was reading these words because of how strong your faith is in your Creator. I am blessed to call you my best friend.
    In HIS love, Mel :)

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Aw girl- you got me crying! I love you too! :)

      Delete