Wednesday, November 4, 2015

No Sleep

Good evening everyone! So it's fall drama week and needless to say, I'm at school more than I am at home. Thankfully, homework loads haven't been too bad. However, I had to make up all the stuff I missed last Thursday and Friday because of "leadership camp." I'm also super behind on sleep and it's really taking a toll on my emotions. So here's just a window into how I've been feeling lately...

I snap quickly. The littlest things make me upset. My mom said something that I didn't like? Snap. My brother wants to talk to me, but I'm tired? Snap. I have a rough quiz grade? A bad hair day? A disagreement with a friend? Snap, snap, SNAP! (I thank everyone for putting up with me lately- especially my mom!)

I go through extreme "highs" and then minutes later, I crash. Example...I was in gym class yesterday and started getting really hyper and excited with my friends. I found everything funny and then within five minutes I was drained. Completely emotionless. I was embarrassed- people must think I'm completely crazy!- and I realized that this had to be the worst form of an anxiety attack. I came to the conclusion that some stress had piled up and it resulted in an emotional roller coaster then went from 100 down to 0 real quick.

Thankfully, I haven't cried as much lately. Well this morning was rough...I locked my keys in my car and I took a bad Pre-Calc test. Other than that, I've been almost tear-free (probably just because I don't have time to cry lately!)

Anyways, I'm extremely exhausted..."sleep" has been replaced by "caffeine" in my dictionary and even then, it isn't enough. But this morning on my way to school, as tired as I was, I realized how beautiful this crazy life can be. One day, my teenage years will come to an end. The fun times of doing fall drama with my peers- over. Laughing, eating, and living at school will all be over. And then I will come to the conclusion that I took these years for granted.

So, what I'm trying to say is, appreciate what seem to be "the worst parts of high school." And to be stereotypical...appreciate the little things. Examples...blaring your radio on your way home and not being afraid to sing as loud as you can. Drinking a good cup of coffee. Getting a somewhat decent grade on a quiz or test.

Sleep or no sleep, God keeps life busy and crazy, but beautifully interesting.

Much love from a very tired, but blessed child of God,
Marissa Mayer

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