Thursday, February 25, 2016

Push For Positivity

Good evening everyone! Thank you for all your patience...

I've been struggling lately to keep up with school, dance, work, and clearly my blog. Nobody warned me junior year would be so time consuming and difficult! I spend most of my time at school or at work, and every night before I go to sleep I cringe at the amount of sleep I'll be getting if I fall asleep right then.

I know that I've said in earlier posts that keeping yourself busy is a good way to keep your mind off things. However, I've come to realize that there is a point when it can become WAY too much. I have one or two breakdowns every week due to exhaustion, stress, and anxiety. But tonight I was feeling particularly motivated. I studied APUSH and practiced my saxophone, and here I am blogging! How great it feels to finally be getting something done...

But let's go back to before tonight. To the past few weeks. Dance practice everyday along with homework. Slowly but surely I slipped into another round of depression. I felt myself starting to hate dance team. I didn't want to practice. I was tired and emotionally done with it. It frustrated me because I was suddenly watching something I love turn into something I hate. Every day I wanted to quit. Due to upcoming performances, I forced myself to stay. I was whiny, irritable, and probably the worst teammate. I didn't want to talk to my teammates or my coach. I felt disconnected to the outside world (in and out of dance).

Internally, I was trying to make an effort to see clearly...the light at the end of the tunnel. I felt bad, (still do!) for being such a terrible influence on the rest of my team. I said things I didn't mean, and didn't say the things I probably should have. I didn't smile or encourage them as I should have. But rather I tore them down. I prayed that God would show me something to make me feel better about it all. And today, my prayer was answered when my coach pulled me aside after class.

Being a student at a private school isn't much different than going to public school. I take classes, I have homework (probably more...but that's the besides the point). I take quizzes, study for tests, and like days off. But being a student at Lutheran High has shown me that my teachers/coaches care about me. My coach actually asked how I was doing and we talked it out.

I feel so much better knowing that I'm cared for by my coach and my team and that my actions are forgiven. However, I refuse to let my depression keep such a hold on my positive attitude all the time, especially towards my team. So as I work through my negativity, I encourage all of you to pray about it! I worked for me, and I believe it can for you too. Prayer is the most effective method to get the devil and his nasty lies out of our heads. For Christ's love is sufficient. And through His love, we are given hope in eternal life with Him in Heaven.

Praying for all my wonderful and faithful followers out there tonight. I hope you have a wonderful finish to your week, and I will continue to try and post! I have some pretty big plans for Depressed But Blessed in the future...still a work in progress.

"Let all bitterness and wrath and anger and clamor and slander be put away from you, along with all malice. Be kind to one another, tenderhearted, forgiving one another, as God in Christ forgave you."
-Ephesians 4:31-32


Fight the negativity and push for that positivity!
Marissa Mayer

P.S. I'm looking for some blog logo ideas? If you're interested in helping me design, or you have some ideas PLEASE email me! Would love to hear from any of you! Your help and support is so greatly appreciated.

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