Thursday, March 31, 2016

Discouraged But Faithful

Good afternoon! Hope you're all doing fabulous! Got a lot of stuff to share today...a few examples to fit the title of this post so here goes:

Let me start off with the bad news. My new job...didn't work out. I won't list any specific reasons why, but mostly I just felt uncomfortable. I left feeling disappointed because my high expectations were not met. I had walked out to my car and cried for awhile before texting my old boss (who is like a second mother to me). She told me she would pray for me and reassured me that I would find something. You're probably wondering why I left my old job, and I'm going to be honest. I thought this would be a good time for me to try something new and do some "growing" in the working world, I suppose. And while I'm being honest, I'm still not sure that was the right decision...(I'm praying for a lot of wisdom). Seeing my new job be a disappointment was very rough. I felt discouraged, but thanks to a great second mom and a boatload of prayer, I remained faithful that God is still at work. But I filled out another application last night, and I'm praying that God leads me somewhere where I can do well, or if necessary, back to where I was. 

And of course, here's an update on my experiment with my herbal pill. I've been feeling great...at least emotionally. However, I'm continuing to lose weight, I cannot eat normally, and I have headaches. It's frustrating to wake up in the morning feeling terrible. I think it's due to anxiety from all this job hunting and such...but I'm not sure. You might remember from some of my first posts, I had this issue in the summer too. It lasted for a long time, and it was a very hard time for me. I know my body needs proper nutrients but at the same time, it doesn't want to eat...so every day is a challenge. And I'm going to admit that I haven't been praying about it as much as I should be. While I cannot always eat normal food, I can always depend on God's Word to satisfy my spiritual hunger. And that's probably what I need to do a little more of.

Lastly, let's take a look at Depressed But Blessed! Back when I started this in July, I felt compelled to write because A) I'm good at writing...or so I've been told and B) As I struggle with depression, I have hope in a Savior...and that's something worth sharing!
So I started...and I looked back through some of my old posts recently. It's great to see how far I've come. But let me tell you...there were many times (and sometimes still are) in which I felt like this blog was hopeless. Something that wasn't helpful to others, and something I was wasting my time on. I had people tell me that my depression was for attention, and that I don't really care for others. That my blog was pointless and would help nobody. On top of that, I didn't get nearly as much feedback as I would like (still don't sometimes). That's why I wouldn't write for a few days or weeks at a time. I was discouraged. However, as I have mentioned in a past post, The Beauty That Lies Beyond The Depression, things changed for my blog. I gained a little fame, and support from other bloggers and even Project Semicolon. I remained faithful, and God is continuing to work great things through this blog.

So, I took a big leap of faith and made the blog a Facebook page. You can follow it here: https://www.facebook.com/depressedbutblessed/?ref=aymt_homepage_panel

To summarize this big messy post: remain faithful. These little trials are temporary in the big scheme of things. Take big leaps of faith and follow your heart...just don't forget to pray along the way! God's Word is your ultimate map and support, and it will take you to the places He wants you to be. Patience and prayer are key! 

Trying to be patient while the Artist is at work,
Marissa Mayer

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