Monday, August 29, 2016

When The World Shifts

Good afternoon everyone! Today I was met by a blog reader in the hallway at school and she was wondering when I would post next. Thought it was a good reminder to write today! Got some good thoughts to share...

I recently received some bad news about a loved one with cancer. When I first received the news, my heart fell to the pit of my stomach. I sobbed in my car and when I got home, I fell to my bed and prayed out loud.

I'm sure we can all relate to a time when things took a turn for the worst. For me, the most significant was my parents' divorce. As an adopted child, I had to watch another family fall apart. Earlier, I had lost my grandmother to lung cancer. Things throughout life hadn't always seemed to be going the way I wanted them.

Let's even take a step back and look at slightly less drastic circumstances. Maybe you didn't make a sports team, or failed a big test you had studied endlessly for. Perhaps you didn't get into your dream college, or your boyfriend broke his promise of "loving you forever".

It's the change of schedule, the sudden "shift" in life that messes with us, habitual beings. Despite this, where do we turn? The answer: Jesus.

While praying, I remembered this: God is good at all times...despite any circumstances. I know I say it to you a lot, and I think that's why it came to mind. Jesus is my Savior...He died on the cross for my sins, so why would He leave me now? He's brought me so far...given me the strength to continue when I didn't think I could. God is love. He is our source of comfort, and our Shepherd who will provide for us for eternally.

"For I am convinced that neither death nor life, neither angels nor demons, neither the present nor the future, nor any powers, neither height nor depth, nor anything else in all creation, will be able to separate us from the love of God that is in Christ Jesus our Lord." -Romans 8:38-39

When the world is shaken, His love holds firm,
Marissa Mayer

Wednesday, August 24, 2016

Chasing The Faith

Good evening all...so I just started back at school (senior year...say what?!) and things are gonna get busy real quick. However, I thought I'd write tonight since I've got a few ideas.

I didn't realize just how much I had pushed my faith to the side this summer until I walked back into the doors of Lutheran High. The classes began with prayers and devotions and it felt good to be surrounded with both familiar and new teachers and classmates. Being back at school with fellow believers was refreshing.

While it was easy to slip away from the daily routine of prayer this summer, I've come to the conclusion that I wanna "jump back in". I see tons of people living their lives as strong Christians, and I've never seen anybody as happy as they are. That's what I want. I want people to ask what makes me so happy, and I want to be able to firmly respond with "Jesus!"

I want to feel God work in my heart. To feel Him strengthen my faith and allow me to share that with others. I've had so many problems with keeping the right people in my life and getting rid of the wrong ones. So I'm going to keep chasing after my faith, harder than ever, and if they can keep up, then I guess those are the supportive people that will help me grow in my faith. The people that truly deserve a spot in my life. Really, I want healthy relationships with those around me. Less negativity. I don't want to slip back into the depression that usually comes with gloomier weather. I don't want to survive...I want to thrive. 

The other morning, I was incredibly anxious about my first day of school. I thought it was silly; I've been going to the same school for 3 years! However, I was restless. But for the first time in a long time, I found myself back in God's Word. All on my own. I wrote down some verses from Matthew about how we needn't worry about the future because God cares for us. It was comforting and my heart found peace.

Like I've said before, I don't always look to God when I should. But now, I'm ready. I can't wait to keep seeing these blessings, and for my faith to grow. God is good at all times.

Here's to a good school year and an even better faith,
Marissa Mayer

P.S. If you're interested in diving a little deeper in your faith, join me! I'll hopefully be tweeting some bible verses. Follow me @depressbless on Twitter! Love you all. 

Thursday, August 18, 2016

Needing A Hero

Good evening all...hope you're all doing better than ever. I truly apologize for the recent lack of activity. I've had writer's block for such a long time.

I've said it before, but I'll say it again...I really really gotta start relying more on God. 

I recently said goodbye to some old friends. My relationships with them were toxic. I was constantly hurting, but gave them endless chances and was numb to the apologies. You might be asking why I stayed friends with these people for so long anyways. I suppose that in my head, the good outweighed the bad. However, in reality, it took a lot of pain before I let go. I used to go to both of them when I wasn't feeling okay, and I can now see that I should have went to God first. Reliance can be tricky to understand, and I wasn't using it correctly.

As a 17 year old, I'm extremely independent. My depression, however, makes me quite dependent. Especially on my mom and some other close friends. It can be easy to say that I want to do it all on my own. But that isn't realistic. God has placed some amazing people in my life. We've been put into the family of Christ with the purpose to love and serve each other. And that's great...as long as we are helping in the right way. 

It's okay to admit you need help. But when you're getting the wrong kind, don't be afraid to look to God. I've learned the hard way that I can't be my own hero. And there's a lot of people who can't help me either. But that's okay, because I am saved by the Ultimate Hero. Jesus Christ. Without Him, I'd be nothing. 

The past few days, it's as if I can feel my depression lurking nearby. I wouldn't be surprised if it came around again...my handful of "good months" are coming to a close. However, I'm ready to fight. With Christ, I am ready to conquer yet another round of darkness. 

For I cannot save myself,
Marissa Mayer


Thursday, August 11, 2016

8.11.16

Hey everyone! I apologize for not posting in awhile. I'm currently on vacation in New York and I haven't had much time (or real content).

So, I've been doing really well. I hope you can all say the same! I know I've said it before, but I find myself drifting away from constant prayer and reading God's Word. While there is no excuse, I blame it on the constant rush that happens to be my life. It can be so simple to lose sight of your faith when things are going right.

Thankfully, I start school again soon and I think it will be good to get back into an environment where I hear God's Word constantly. Can't believe I'm a senior...time has flown by.

In other news, the blog has been receiving an immense amount of views from Russia! This past week, it actually dominated views from the United States. Crazy to see God work across the world. I'm hoping to do a vlog again soon...maybe when I get home or get some more content.

Sorry this isn't much...I'll be writing some good stuff again soon!

Love and prayers are with you always,
Marissa Mayer