Tuesday, December 6, 2016

12.6.16

Happy (and late) Depressed But Blessed Tuesday! I saw that my views went up yesterday, I'm sure you were all expecting something...sorry! I planned on writing before I went to bed, but an exhausted Marissa caught up with me :)

Anyways, just an update for today.

I've been feeling a little weird lately. The highs are high and the lows are definitely low. I can be on top of the world for a minute but stuck in a pit the next. Let me tell you, it's more than exhausting. I'm also experiencing a mix of stress between school and work. I'm either having terrible anxiety or I'm super calm and ignorant about it all. Depends on the day I guess.

Dance is stressing me out more than I really want to admit. I had a rough day last week and going to practice definitely did not help that. Not only did I feel bad, but I was noticed by the team and my coaches. Honestly, it wasn't in my intentions to bring the team down, but that's the vibe I got. I felt guilty even though I hadn't said anything negative, I had just remained quiet. I think a lot of people like to thrive on my positivity when it's around, and I just can't do it all the time. But I promise I'm trying my best. 

There's also a lot of days that go by when I wonder if this blogging thing is really for me or for how long I will continue to write. I have my doubts but I also have a little confidence in what I'm doing. 

On a more positive note, I officially became an LCMS member this weekend and was able to commune next to two of my sisters in Christ (along with all the saints of course). It feels really good because for a lot of my life, I have questioned my belonging. I didn't always feel like I belonged in my family, or at my school, or at my job. But now I have a church family in the body of Christ, and I'd be lying if I said it didn't feel absolutely beautiful to be a part of that. It's comforting to know that God has spoken to me loud and clear, and now I'm exactly where He wanted me to be.

Beyond all the abnormalities and craziness in my life recently, I'm also getting pretty excited for Christmas. I'm praying that the holiday season is more joyous for me than difficult this year. Praying for all of you too, of course.

It's gonna be a busy few weeks ahead of me. So much to do, and I'm glad I can rest in God's Word when I need some reassurance.

Keep your chins up my loves, we're in this together,
Marissa Mayer

"The Lord himself goes before you and will be with you; he will never leave you nor forsake you. Do not be afraid; do not be discouraged." -Deuteronomy 31:8

1 comment:

  1. There are so many of us who struggle with depression. I am one of them. It is refreshing to know that we are not alone. You have a lovely blog. Warm greetings from Montreal, Canada.

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