Tuesday, April 18, 2017

4.18.17

It's been over two weeks since I've last posted, and even today I'm still not sure I feel ready.

I simply don't have enough to say anymore. I lack content. The past year and a half of writing has been repetitive, I'm sure you've heard me say it all before. A lot of people tell me they too think of starting a blog, but it's actually super hard to maintain when you have zero motivation and even worse, nothing to write about.

The end of senior year is coming up fast and I'd be lying if I said I didn't feel prepared to let it all go. The past four years I've basically been begging for May 19th to come faster, but now, it's sinking in. I'm filled with excitement, fear, and some sadness at leaving this behind and moving ahead. On a brighter note, I met my roommate recently and so that takes a lot of anxiety off the table.

Also, as a PSA, I wouldn't watch 13 Reasons Why if you haven't already. I did, and the whole suicide scene made me sick and I felt terrible for two days. It's a lot to take in and I really wouldn't suggest it. It also puts up a whole new meaning to stigma...

Sorry this whole post is choppy...I'm feeling pretty empty. Wish I had more for you. I guess for now I'm just gonna take a little break until I can get back on track and figure out what I'm doing. You can always stay updated with my Instagram.

Love,
Marissa Mayer

Monday, April 3, 2017

Music & Mountains

Happy Monday! Sorry I haven't written in awhile, I just spent the last week on a 10 day tour with the band and choir out west to Las Vegas. Simply an amazing time and I can't wait to tell you about it. Also feel free to check out my Instagram or VSCO which should be updated soon with plenty of pictures!

The day we left I had no idea just how amazing it would be to see God work through both of our ensembles. But after every concert I left feeling just a little more convinced of His work. We sang, we played, we shared His Word with each audience and it genuinely filled me with complete joy and peace to be doing so.

I made countless memories, took an abundance of pictures, and felt pretty much on top of the world the entire time. I laughed until it hurt, strengthened tons of relationships, and overall, fell a little bit more in love with God's creation and my passion for music.

With each note, we filled the room with praise and the hope we have in the promises fulfilled by Him. One of our choral pieces is called "Neither Angels Nor Demons" and it's based of off Romans 8:38-39: "For I am convinced that neither death nor life, neither angels nor demons, neither the present nor the future, nor any powers, neither height nor depth, nor anything else in all creation, will be able to separate us from the love of God that is in Christ Jesus our Lord." Simply reading this text is enough to fill my soul with joy. Despite my sin and the terrible world we live in, absolutely nothing will alter God's love for us which is seen through Jesus's death on the cross. For you and for me, He died so that we might live with Him. That's the perfect summary of why we went on tour. No, it wasn't to necessarily have fun, but rather to share this message with everyone.

As I tweeted the other day, tour taught me two things. One, the love we have for one another, and two, the love that Christ has for us. The night of our concert in Las Vegas I met some kids from their band/choir and fell instantly in love. They were excited to meet me and take pictures. I'd be lying if I said it didn't make me even more excited to teach.

As for a mental health update, I stopped taking my medication on tour regularly. I was triggered into some anxiety for a little bit one night, but other than that, I felt great. However, now that I'm home and the post tour depression has kicked in, I should probably hop back on it.

It feels good to be back, but I can't believe how quickly time went the past week and a half. Spending my spring break with my favorite people truly was an experience I will never forget.

I truly hope you're all doing well. Continuous prayers.

In His love,
Marissa Mayer